Twilight With A Twist You know you want it
by daiisssyy
Summary: Twilight. But Bella's a bit of a freak, and Jess has rabies or something. And it's funny mebzzz R&R! It's my best story. Most reviews, comments etc.
1. Chapter 1

My FAT ASS mother drove me to the airport with the windows rolled down. I couldn't believe she was actually going away with her stupid new pimp and leaving me to go live with my Dad. Charlie. Urgh. I was wearing my favourite shirt, a black conservative one with the buttons done up to my throat, I didn't want anyone looking where they weren't supposed to. I also had baggy jeans on which didn't hug my figure and hung down to trail on the floor. I had beige loafers on too, to cover myself up. I also had sunglasses on. And a hat.

I didn't bother saying goodbye to my mother, stupid bitch.

When I got to Forks, I went to the toilets at the airport first. I had to cover the water in the toilet with lots of toilet roll so that no one heard me pee.

After I had relieved myself and made sure I was showing no flesh to any possible pedos, I left and went to meet Charlie at the gate. Stupid hillbilly looked like he had just walked out of a trailer park. It was pissing it down, no surprise there since my father was so depressed after my mother left him that he didn't even bother to move out of the wettest place in the continental US. Moody bastard.

We had to ride in his police car, which was so embarrassing, but being with the chief of police had its advantages… at least I wasn't going to get perved on. Phew, disaster avoided. We drove for a bit and Charlie made comments about a crap sounding car he had got me. I pretended to be pleased, it must be hard for a man that looks like a tramp to get enough money to buy a car that wasn't even for him. He had his pimp mobile anyway (his police cruiser).

I found out that he had bought the car, well truck, from Billy. Billy was a random guy that used to touch me up when I was younger and as Charlie chatted shit for a bit, I wondered if I would find any pornographic images left in the truck by accident.

I was actually nearly sick when I saw the truck. It was fucking massive and I would look like a truck driver in it.

"Thanks dad, I love it." Better to lie then send him back into the spiralling depression he went into when Mother left him cos' he had no life and no friends.

"Glad you like it." He yawned, scratched his retarded moustache and helped me take my stuff upstairs. My room was boring and I didn't like it, I also took the time to complain about the fact that there was only one bathroom, meaning I'd have to put up with the smell of Charlie's excrement every morning when he went for his morning relief. After closer inspection of the bathroom, I realised there wasn't even any spray to get rid of the stench that had already washed over me in there. Plus, to make matters worse and make me even more suicidal, there were ants crawling around near the bath. Nice one, Charlie. In any case, it was better than having a wooden shack outside with big fuck off spiders in it which I had had to cope with when I was younger and lived here with Renee, the slag who had me and brought me into this dangerous world where everyone gets raped.

I cried like a baby for a bit cos' I'm so hard done to and thought about the tiny crappy school I was going to be attending tomorrow.

Then I went to sleep cos' I was bored and couldn't think of anything else to worry about. I dreamt about the Volturi even though I didn't know who they were yet.

I had breakfast and Charlie went to work, thank God. I did stuff that won't interest you then left for school. The gravel crunched as I ran down the driveway, to ensure I wasn't captured by pirates or pervs as I went, and tripped on a bit of air, landing on the front of my truck. I got in and checked around me for hidden people ready to pounce on me. There was no one.

I found school quickly cos' if it had taken ages, I wouldn't have survived the depression. I went into the office and got this slip thing which I had to get my teachers to sign then take it back at the end of the day. Boring shit basically. Being in the poor, minging town of Forks had it plusses. For example, all the other cars were rundown and disgusting like mine except for a shiny, sexy Volvo. I can do this, I lied to myself feebly. No one was going to bite me. Well that's really what I hoped. You never knew what people round here were like.

I went to building 3 and went into the room. The teacher at the front looked at my name on the slip that I passed him then stared at me. He must have heard about the rape charges I made against Billy when I was younger. I averted my eyes and went to the seat that the teacher had pointed me to with a wink. People stared at my boobs.

This absolutely horrific looking boy looked across at me then and pretended to be bothered about me. He probably was looking at my boobs too. He spout some shit about him being Eric and me being Isabella Swan but I was difficult and told him that it was just Bella. "BELLA, MR. ACNE FACE."

As I walked out of the room later, I felt his hand fondle my arse and he began to follow me out of the room to my next lesson.


	2. Chapter 2

The dirty little beast followed me to my next lesson in building six. I fully intended to sweep into my Government class, into safety, but my plan was thwarted when Eric grabbed my waist, gave me a "sexy" look, licked his lips then skipped off in joy. I stood there in full blown shock for about twenty seconds.

"Stop Bella," I told myself. "He's just a fucking nerd."

My Government teacher, Mr. Varner, looked like a biker. His hair was long and greasy, pulled back into a plait. His teeth were black. He smiled anyway, the sick, sick man.

I had two other lessons before lunch which I won't go into detail about, because they were that shit. This girl followed me to the cafeteria. I vaguely remembered her from both Trig and Spanish, but for all I knew, she was a lesbian waiting to pounce.

We sat with her friends, all of whom told me their name, but I forgot them instantly because my mind was on bigger issues, such as animal cruelty. The Eric guy was across the table from me, giving me a pervish smile and a slow wink. He raised his hand to the side of his mouth and moved it across and back again, moving his tongue in time. Basically, he wanted a blowjob.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YOU BASTARD!" I screamed. "DON'T MAKE ME DO IT. PLEASE NOOO. NO! NO! I CAN'T DO IT! PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME. BILLY… IT WAS BILLY. HE DID THIS TO ME. I DON'T LIKE BOYS. EVERYONE RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES."

"Fucking hell Bella!" yelled the Trig/Spanish girl, "sit the fuck down! Eric's always like that, chill out."

I sat down, hyperventilating slightly and shaking from head to pissing foot. Ever since the incidents with Billy Black when I was younger, I'd had a few mental episodes, similar to the one I had just experienced.

Everyone was giving me evils, or looking at my boobs, when I saw them.

They were sat across the cafeteria, ignoring what the rest of the school was staring at… me.

They all looked completely different, but identical. In my head, that didn't make sense, and it still doesn't make sense now. How could they be identical, but completely different? Who knows? I don't. I don't know.

There was a big boy. He had dark hair and big muscles. He was fit. Another one had blonde hair, and he was a bit wimpy, not so fit. Then, there was a ginger. A ginger in all it's glory. His hair was tousled and wet. He looked like he just stepped out of a shower. "FUCKS SAKE," he suddenly shouted. "This pissing leak is doing my head in!" I looked to where his eyes were directed and saw a hole in the cafeteria roof. The rain was dripping onto his head in a steady rhythm. So much for the shower…

I moved on to the girls. I didn't like, make a move on them. That would be lesbianism, and that's not right.

The blonde one was hot. The other one wasn't.

"Trig girl?" I called to the horse faced bitch next to me.

"Yah?" She replied in her annoyingly fake American accent.

"Who are they?"

She knew who I was on about even though I didn't make any reference to them at all.

"The Cullens. They live together. Alice and Jasper are together – ugly girl and wimpy boy. Rosalie and Emmett are together – hot girl and muscled guy. I hate Edward – the ginger."

"What's your name?"

"Jess."

"Cool."

"Cool."

The bell rang, and I got up to go to my next lesson, Biology. As I was walking to the exit, I slipped on a banana skin which was probably placed in the inconvenient position by Billy Black himself. As I was hurtling through the air, I tried to aim for the automatic doors but instead, found myself aiming for a boy sat at a table with his legs parted. I opened my mouth in shock as I saw his hard-on.

The hard-on entered my mouth. I bit down hard – a automatic reaction to this alien object. I stood up after the boy had kicked my head in for biting his penis, and went to Biology.

Walking through the grounds, I realised what morons attended Forks High School. Exhibit A: Eric the Perv singing "My milkshake brings all the girls to the yard."

Exhibit B: Jess dragging herself across the floor like a dog with an itchy bum hole/ piles does.

A strange, strange world I lived in.


End file.
